


Dreams can be as torturous as the act itself

by Multifandom_damnation



Category: Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Affection, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canonical Character Death, Emotional Baggage, Flashbacks, Implied/Referenced Torture, Insomnia, Multi, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Past Torture, Protective Roy Harper
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-02-07 07:49:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18616306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Multifandom_damnation/pseuds/Multifandom_damnation
Summary: He dreamed in shades of green and red. The Jokers laugh still echoed in his ears. The flames still licked his skin.Torture is still torture, and pain is still pain.





	Dreams can be as torturous as the act itself

**Author's Note:**

> I will go down with this ship

There were nights when Jason could still feel the itch of unyielding barbed wired against his flesh, the burning of a brand being sunk into his skin, the feeling of the cold sharp crowbar breaking bones that splintered under the unforgiving hand of the Joker, and on the night when his insomnia faded just long enough to allow him a night’s sleep, his dreams were something he loathed and something he could never seem to escape.

He dreamed in shades of green and red. The Jokers laugh still echoed in his ears. The flames still licked his skin.

Some nights Jason wasn’t sure what was real and what was a dream, his mind warping every grotesque future into something unrecognisable and painful, like walking on tiny shards of glass that he thought were diamonds. He still carried the scars from that too-long time he couldn’t remember, his skin peppered with brands and scars that ached to look at in the mirror.

When Jason closed his eyes, flames flickered behind his eyelids and the loud, maniacal cackling of his captor rang in his ears. The bite of pain and the warm slickness of blood on his body. He could still feel the rough fabric of the blindfold over his eyes and the hardness of the splintering wooden chair, the chains wrapped around his torso as he writhed on the floor, his feet suspended in the air as he hung from the rusted meat hook. Everything hurt too much to think about yet he found himself unable to escape the intrusive thoughts that berated him almost every day.

Sometimes though, it wasn’t all bad. Sometimes he would wake up screaming, throat raw and eyes brimming with tears, and Roy would wrap his arms around Jason’s sweating torso and Kori would push the hair back from his face and pepper his skin with kisses while Roy held him close to his chest and placed soft, delicate grazes of his lips along his neck. Those nights, the darkness and the red-anger and green-confusion faded until he was sobbing in their arms. They made the pain go away.

On nights when his body revolted and his mind screamed at him, there was always a warm body by his side and a hand threaded into his, and just for a moment, the darkness receded and his mind quieted.

But Jason, despite how strong and stern and angry he made himself, torture is still torture, and pain is still pain.

Tonight was a night worse than the others, where his screams ripped his throat raw and his tears ran down his cheeks like little rivulets of blood and his heartbeat was pounding too loud in his ears like the familiar and constant ticking down of a time bomb and for the first time in a long, long time Jason wondered if he was still back there in the dilapidated warehouse in his blood-stained Robin suit with the Joker holding a bomb over his head. The last dregs of a scream still burned where it stuck in his throat, even when Kori immediately woke up from her deep slumber, limbs stretched haphazardly across the bed and hair in a messy tangle around them, and wrapped her entire body around Jason’s trembling form.

“Hey, Jaybird,” Roy mumbled into his skin, turning over and running his hand down Jason’s arm. “Hey, hey, you’re here. You’re here with us, in our tiny bed with the scratchy covers, wearing those stupid pyjama pants with the bats on them, choking on Kori’s hair.” Roy always knew how to help Jason during nights like these, even if he was still mostly asleep.

Jason knew it was true- the warehouse was a faraway thought and the burning of the flames he felt across his skin was just Kori’s hair spread across his body. He wasn’t tied up, the restrains he felt across his arms was just Kori hugging him tightly. “Yeah,” He gasped. “I know.”

“I thought you were getting better,” Kori hummed into his skin, her hands gently caressing his pale, sweaty face. There was such worry and heartache in her eyes and Jason hated that he was the one who put it there.

“Yeah, well, so did I,” Jason replied. His voice was raw and thick and when he tried to sit up, his head swam. He leant his back against the headboard and Kori and Roy detangled themselves from the sheets to join him above the pillows. “Those still aren’t fun.”

Roy tangled his fingers in Jason’s hair and tugged his head towards him so it could rest on his shoulder. “You’re fine. I promise you, Jason, you’re never going back there again. We’re never gonna let him take you away from us again.”

Sweat dripped down his brow as Jason reached his shaky hand up and patted Roy’s one currently wrapped tightly around his shoulder. “No offence, Roytoy, but don’t make me promises you may not be able to keep.”

From Jason’s other side, Kori made an offended sound deep in her throat. “You don’t think we can protect you? You doubt us that dearly?”

Jason shrugged. “Do you really think you’d be able to fight off the Joker if he came?”

“I would hope that aTamaranean princess, an expert archer and inventor and one of Batman’s partners would hopefully give him a run for his money.” Kori sounded definite like her words were final. “And if we knew he was on his way, you know we would call upon every single one of your allies to help guard you.”

“That seems a little extreme, Princess,” Roy laughed as he gently traced his finger over one of Jason’s brands, the J now nothing but a faint white line in a sea of tanned skin. His voice was thick and heavy as if he was revisiting the lull of sleep that pulled at him, and Jason felt a twinge of pain and waking him up. “Although let’s be honest, we wouldn’t give you up without a fight.”

Kori leant her head on Jason’s shoulder and her hair tumbled down his chest, heating his skin and warming him right down to the core. He wasn’t aware of how cold he was inside and out, not until she did that. “Absolutely,” She agreed. “You mean more to us than I think you believe. We would willingly die before we allow you to go through such torment with that maniac again.”

Snorting, Jason snuggled back into the many pillows that were suddenly bunched up around his head and gave in to the gentle contact he hadn’t realized he’d needed. “Alright. But just do me a favour. If I die, for the love of God and all things holy, don’t bring me back.”

Roy made a strange sound of annoyance and frustration and Jason refused to look at him when he felt his eyes on him. “No promises. None at all. Not a single one.”

Jason sighed and closed his eyes, trying only to focus on the gentle touch of Roy’s fingers over his scars and Kori’s hand in his hair and not the sound of flames licking, the heat of the explosion, the pain of the crowbar hitting home. “I don’t know what else I expected.”

“Hey,” Kori said gently, placing her free hand on his chest. He could feel the flutter of his own rapid heartbeat under her palm. Jason opened his eyes and glanced at her, her own green eyes wide and filled with so much love that Jason thought he could drown in them. “Stay with me. You’re here with us, not there with him.”

“I know,” Jason said, but the world was getting fuzzy again, the ticking of the bomb getting louder and the phantom pain coming from his whole body where his magnitude of scars rested against his skin were beginning making it hard to focus. “I know.”

Just as Jason was beginning to drown in a whole different way, into the bite of memories and pain as putrid as the Lazarus pit, Roy grabbed him by the chin just as his breathing was beginning to quicken and turned his face. “No panic attacks tonight. You’ve got a few more hours until morning.” And then he pressed his lips to Jason’s with so much force that Jason’s eyes widened and he was falling into the heat of it, the pure passion of it until he was gasping for a whole different reason, and when they pulled away reluctantly Jason chased Roy’s lips but only got air. His chest was heaving and Roy had that shit eating grin he always got when he felt particularly proud of himself and Jason wanted to kiss it away just for the mere reason of kissing him again. “Are you with us?”

“Yeah,” Jason panted, eyes blown wide and lips red. “I think so.”

Kori ran a warm hand down his cheek, her long manicured nails scratching at his skin in that certain way he loved, the purple a stark contrast against his tan. “Good. Because we need you here, in this bed with us, wearing those ridiculous pants, and not there in the warehouse with him.” Jason nodded, ready to do anything she said, and she placed a much lighter and much less forceful kiss on his cheek. “Do you think you’re ready to try and sleep again?”

“I know insomnia’s a bitch,” Roy added, knowing Jason too well. “But… do you think you’d want to try?”

On any normal occasion, Jason would be more than ready to refuse and leave the bed to go sit on the couch to watch TV or go somewhere quiet to clean his guns, but for some reason he felt so safe and comfortable sandwiched between the two people he loved most in the world, Roy’s hand in his and Kori’s arm behind his back, her hair a warm blanket over them all, that something was compelling him to agree. “We can try. Just don’t… don’t leave.”

Roy pressed his nose into Jason’s neck and Kori pulled the covers back over them as they slunk back down to rest their heads on the pillows. “We wouldn’t think of it, Jaybird.” Roy murmured into Jason’s skin.

And for the first time in a long time, Jason slept, and no dreams followed him into the darkness. 


End file.
